As we have been trying different things, it has become completely obvious that the best possible outcome is achieved when we provide Zoe with:
1) Clear expectations (for us and for her)
2) Consistency (in what we tell her within a message, each time we deliver the message, and across all family members - “Lie down” vs. “down, Down, DOWN!!” or “Down! Stop jumping! Lie down, okay sit, now lie down”)
3) Immediate positive feedback (Excitedly declaring such things as, “Hurray! Well done! Good girl!” and sometimes providing a reward).
4) A follow-up opportunity to demonstrate without too much coaching that she can do it.
When Zoe misses, it is pretty much guaranteed that WE have missed a step, or made a misstep. So the onus is on us. Reflecting back, I realize that the best results we had when our children were young occurred when we did the same four things. And, thinking about the work I do with new managers.....those who are most successful? Those who do essentially the same four things (although the messages and rewards might be a bit different).